I Borrow; It's What I Do

Why apologize? I give the links and I spread the word on fine posts! Also, I pad my own blog. And ain't that what it's all about?

No?

Well, poop!

From Morning Glory comes this enjoyable foray into Theorems and Corollaries. No, it's not Geometry, so uncross yer legs, Cupcake!

She calls this, "Laws of the Natural Universe":

"'It's been one of those weeks so I thought this would be an appropriate post.

Being the former Mrs. Murphy, as well as Murphy's Mother, I've always been a believer in MURPHY'S LAWS; Therefore, I have followed up the "Laws of the Natural Universe" with "Murphy's Corrollaries" where applicable.'

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell your boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will actually have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If youchange lines at the supermarket or change lanes in traffic, the one you were in before will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Murphy's Corrollary: The other line always moves faster.

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring. Murphy's Corrollary: Though the phone won't necessarily ring every time you're on the toilet, every time the phone rings, you'll be on the toilet.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine doesn't work, it will. Murphy's Corrollary: Any broken appliance or automobile, when demonstrated for the repairman, will work perfectly.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down with a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Lockers: If there only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs: The chance of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down is directly proportional to the newness/cost of the carpet.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Bruno Maldi's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Gossip's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Law of Natural Selection: As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it. Murphy's Corrollary: As soon as you find a TV show that you really enjoy, they will cancel it or put it on opposite the only other TV show you really enjoy.

Murphy was an optimist.

A Smith & Wesson beats four Aces.

Don't mess with Mrs. Murphy."