Monday, March 27, 2006

If I Were A Beer, Which Would I Be . . . ? And more ...

"If you were a beer, which would you be?
A Guinness, Sam Adams, or Old Milwaukee?

Do you have a thick head? Are you dark, are you skunked?
Aged at the hands of obscure Trappist Monks?

Are you stout, are you bitter, oaky like Fall,
Or like most of my coworkers, with no taste at all?

However you are, here's one test you can't flunk,
All beers are okay, so long as you're drunk."

(H/T to The Anchoress, of course!


(66% dark & bitter, 33% working class, 100% genuine)

So the deal with this test is that each taker, based on his or her scores, is assigned a beer that fits their personality (Corona, Bud Select, and so on), and along with the personality description, there's a poster or an ad for that beer. As you can imagine, most of the images feature booty models, sports cars, or, maybe even more depressing, retro kitsch.

It's a testament to Bass Ale, and therefore to YOU, that when I went to look for ads for Bass, all I found was this. An ad from 1937. Bass is legit, and if your scores are true, so are you. I tip my glass to that.

Personality-wise, you have refined tastes (after all, Bass is kind of expensive), but you know how to savor what you get. Your personality isn't exactly bubbly, but you're well-liked by your close circle of friends. Your sense of humor is rather dark, but that's just another way to say sophisticated, right? Cheers.

Link: The If You Were A Beer Test written by gwendolynbooks on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

But, then as I finished this Beer test - a truly important test, I should emphasize! - I saw another one, and thought it would be interesting,too.

"The 'What European Sword's For You' Test"

1/2 Hand Sword
You scored 15% Short Sword, 45% 1 and half Hand, 25% Broad Sword, and 0% Claymore!

Your preferred weapon would be the One-and-a-half Hand-Sword, the common weapon of the Crusader. This sword can be both used on its own, as a two-hand sword, or with a shield, to help defence.

Link: The what Europeans sword's for you Test written by matthias1560 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I kinda like this. Oh, I have no pretensions that I have the strength or perseverence to be an actual Crusader. No, that is lacking within me. But I would like to think I have the courage that they had. To leave your home, family, land behind. On Faith alone, at the word of a village priest, to gather as a consecrated body, in defense of the Faith.

Remember: The Crusades were a response to attacks by Islamic Hordes on the Jews and Christians in the 'Holy Land'. The Crusades were not a 'pre-emptive strike' against a peaceful, pastoral people. If anybody tells you differently, they are lying to you.

This blog is no political blog. I have my opinions. They tend to be rather conservative in nature. But that's not why I have this blog. At the same time, one would be a fool if he did not see what was going on around him, and speak out, when the time arose. I think that time has come.

The Crusaders, despite the silliness of modern historical analysis, were no blood-thirsty mob, bent on the conquest of New Lands. They were religious men, seeking dispensation from their sins. They fought the 'Infidels' in the 'Holy Land' to free it. And those 'Infidels' had savagely taken the 'Holy Land'. They didn't merely convert the inhabitants. No, Islamic Soldiers put the populace to the sword. Or expelled them. When you read of the "atrocities" practiced by the Crusaders on the poor, helpless Muslim people of Jerusalem, and the rest of the lands, remember that they were simply on the receiving end of their own bloody practices.

The Christians, sad to say, were as savage as the Muslims. Wishing it weren't so is meaningless. That's how it went in those days. Trying to compare it with today is a fool's game. And anybody that tells you that you can compare the different eras...well, they're lying. Again!

Were it not for the Christian 'Reconquest' in Spain, the defense of the Balkans by the Romanians, the defense of Vienna, the Islamic Hordes would have subjugated all of Europe. And the Renaissance would never have occurred. No Declaration of Independence, no modern world at all.

Doubt me? Well, take a look at the history of the Ottoman Empire. You will have a wondeful window into the Islamic World within the Caliphate. And that's what the modern Islamist wants. What he/she will slaughter you and yours to bring about.

If that's fine by you, well, maintain your silence. Don't fight for Liberty. After all, it's your right to be a slave if you so desire. But me, well, I think I will become a Crusader if the need arises.

GOD willing, it never shall.

Take care!


Anna said...

Me, I'm root beer! ;) Seriously, in the which soft drink are you quiz, I was root beer! (sorry...don't like beer)

benning said...

Well, now I have to go find that test! Sheesh, anna!


benning said...

You scored 20% Coca Cola™, 20% Sprite™, 0% Dr Pepper™, and 60% Cherry Coke™!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 50% on Coca Cola

You scored higher than 0% on Sprite

You scored higher than 0% on Dr Pepper

You scored higher than 99% on Cherry Coke